Wednesday, September 17, 2008

To Whom It May Concern:

Dear Booster Juice,

We only have a short time together, as I am moving away to a land that is lacking the juices and the boost. I will try to sip you weekly until my fated departure at the end of October.

However, recently it has come to my attention that you aren't all that was promised. Your Banana Beach smoothie from your "Life Choice" menu eludes that you are healthy, wise and true. When I visited your website I found your caloric index... and your SUGARS index! I saw your dirty little secret and I wept.

Although you definitely have zero fat, you are still a whopping 400 calories and 82 grams of sugar.

Compared to your Berry Smoothie cousin "Brazilian Thunder" you are cellulite waiting to happen. Although it may contain amounts of sorbet, the Brazilian yields 350 calories and only 34 grams of sugar.

I am sorry Banana Beach, your days are over. I will take the 2 grams of fat over the 48 grams of sugar and 50 calories.


Dear Brazilian Thunder,

Welcome to my repertoire of tasty beverages. I hope that your Acai is delicious and wonderful.

In order to ensure that you are wise and true I will boost you with protein.

Your friend,