Thursday, October 31, 2013

2007 Allison

There was a time, around the start of this blog, were I was that person. 

Hey Everybody, let’s go for a 20K run at six am on Saturday!

You know what would be fun?  Back to back 2 hour spin classes after work.

BodyPump and yoga?  Fuck yeah!

Yup, that person.  But that was a long time ago.  Now, I’m lucky if I can get myself up, find clean clothes, and feed myself something half-way nutritious, all while feeding, clothing and generally wrangling a toddler (not to mention a husband).

What the hell happened to that person?  I keep hearing/reading about these moms with multiple children, full time jobs and large athletic aspirations: marathons, iron mans, Olympic teams.  My husband even got me a book, “Run like a Mother”, with tips for how to juggle everything.  Tips like, get up while everyone is still sleeping to get your run in.  Just reading the book makes me tired.
I really wish that I could get a visit from 2007 self and go for a run with her.  She was really good at pumping me up back then.  She could even get me to run every day in Ottawa in the winter.  The only time we would skip was it if it was colder than -35oC. 

MINUS 35oC! What the hell?!

I wonder what she would think of me now.  She would probably say,

It’s ok if you can just run 5K – at least you got out to run!

She was a pretty positive and optimistic person. 

Now, it’s like the knowledge that at one time I could run so much longer and so much faster is stopping me from putting on the shoes.  My 2013 self is kind of a bitch.  She says helpful things like,

Why do you even bother?  You will probably walk most of the time.  You know, running will just ruin your knees and you will have to get surgery in your fifties.  And by the way, you are a mom now and having a muffin top is just a part of that.  No one is looking at your anyway because you are old.

Like I said, she’s a total bitch.  Luckily, I’m getting sick of her and her self-defeatist bullshit.  Today I’ve been telling myself that if I just put on the shoes I can run back through time and be 2007 Allison, even if it’s just for 5K and even if I walk most of the time.  

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